He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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