So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just forgot I was standing up.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
