Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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