went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize