I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
