people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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