I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
