so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
