she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
