A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize