No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
