Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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