I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
