I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
