hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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