like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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