This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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