I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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