O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
