Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
