So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
even my farts smell like vagina
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
