He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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