so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
