I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
