That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
