I think my vagina is haunted
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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