well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
