honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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