We won't sleep together?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
