how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
