Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
