I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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