No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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