There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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