Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize