im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
