i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
