You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We had sex on a dog bed..
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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