Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
