Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
sick fucks of a feather flock together
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
