My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
