i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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