Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
