I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
