i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
