u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
either way he was missing a nipple.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
