Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
