Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Randomize
