Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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