You can't special order awesome
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
