do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
