tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
