there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
