Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
