I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
