one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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