i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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