She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
