What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
