Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
How external is "for external use only"?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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