Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I party with great urgency now.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
